Officials at RD2, Inc. are reporting a steep drop in coffee consumption this week. The drop has averaged at just over 7 cups. Massive amounts of the caffeine rich substance are going down the drain at the end of each day. To counter the trend, RD2 designer Brandon DeLoach prepared less coffee this morning. Unfortunately, an unexpected trip to Starbucks countered DeLoach’s efforts and by the time you read this, more coffee than ever will be wasted.
Researchers have tied the drop to the recent simultaneous absence of RD2 front man Chris Ronan and head of operations Candice Paddock. Their departure has exposed the fact that they collectively consume 90% of all RD2 coffee on a normal working day. Plans have already been made for a strong dip in coffee production for the remainder of Ronan and Paddock’s west coast trip to preserve this precious RD2 resource.
Could the steep drop in coffee consumption be due to the free coke that was stocked in the refrigerator on Tuesday morning of this week? The team went through the 12 pack of Soda by end of day Wednesday. So we will have to wait and see if the coffee consumption increases now that the Coke is gone. It appears that if given a choice between Coffee and Coke, the Rd2 team would choose Coke!
Looks like the sodas are to blame. We drained a 12 cupper this morning without a blink. Sorry to falsely accuse Ronan and Candice. (although we haven’t had to make another pot after lunch)